Dear dearest cousin Hummingbird,
Due to your interest in cryptominerology, I thought you may want to hear about my latest adventures with my new best friends. I had previously reported to your cousins on my wonderful rock collection. I would now like to include an addendum on its permanent housing situation.
We were going to these scary barrows in the Dead Woods, or Dead Pines, or something like that, a few days outside Letani because somebody asked us to. As we got closer to the barrows, Desna blessed one of my summoning spells with an extra-large version of the earth elemental I had asked for.
We finally made it into the barrows themselves and found not only earthy-like mephits, but really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, REALLY big earth elementals themselves just grubbling through the place (that is the correct onomatopoeia, yes?). So I added it to my rock collection, but it would be difficult to take it around with me due to its really big sizeness, so I decided to leave it in the barrows, because that seems like a pretty safe place that people would be unlikely to break into and steal it. But it more than duoquintuples the size of my rock collection!
Inside the barrow there were also all these drawings on the stones, something about chasing some sort of fluffy monster with big spears. Over and over and over again, the same scene. I don’t think these people had a whole lot of different stories. On the very bottom level of the barrows we found a weird room with a big swirly sandwind and it was whispering “bring out your dead” or something like that. It was all spooooooky. We tried giving it a dead mephit we found and the sand whirled around all swirlylike but nothing much seemed to happen. I think this might be connected to the big bone pile we found in the castle but I’m not really certain how.
The barrows do seem to intersect with the Plane of Earth though, which is pretty cool. I’ve never seen that happen before. If we find somewhere that intersects with the Plane of Cookies I will send home some samples. Extraplanar is my favorite flavor.
Oh and we found the bard we were looking for and she was dead, which was sad. Tomorrow when I get a chance I’m going to ask her why.
We finally left the barrow and ran away a bit because of sightings of ogres and other bad stuff that we would prefer not to meet because I don’t think they would be very hospitable, but in the morning we saw a bugbear sniffing our tracks! So we ran away a little bit, and we could still see them, so we ran away more, and we ran into this really nice old lady who was sitting under a tree on the riverbank. Just kinda sitting there. She offered us some lunch, which was very nice of her, but Niowin kept saying that running away from bugbears seemed more important than lunch, which is kind of silly because what is more important than LUNCH on a nice riverbank on a nice day? And then he STABBED the old lady, but she didn’t really seem to mind much, which was kind of weird, because I certainly disenjoy being stabbed in the guts, because that’s where I keep my spleen and everything, but then we remembered how important running away from bugbears was so we decided to keep doing that a while.
So we were running down the riverbank again and we saw the old lady AGAIN, or at least I assume it’s the old lady, because somehow there being teleporting old ladies is more believeable than coincidentally there being multiple old ladies all sitting under exactly the same tree on the same riverbank in the same bugbear-and-goblin-infested woods. We decided to skirt around her, but then so did a patrol of bugbears and ogres, so we climbed into a tree to hide all sneaky-like.
Writing letters while hanging from trees is difficult and Nestor keeps jostling my elbow but I will try to [a large, irregular line of ink fills most of the rest of the space on the page]