Dear Ms. Blossomfingers, Chief Secretary, Head Cook, and Sorter of the Roses of the Temple of Desna, Gnomeland
I write to you not in your capacity as my mother’s former neighbor’s cousin, but in your capacity as letter-receiver-and-describer-to-the-priests of Desna to share my wonderful discovery of her power!
So this story all started when a dock exploded, but to skip to the part that really matters, recently we (my new best friends and I) were starting this really exciting rock collection when we were asked to travel to an area called the Dead Pines or something all forboding like that to go look for somebody’s friend who has been missing for a while whom I am ever so excited to eventually meet because I’m sure she’s quite a swell and friendly person and we’ll just be the bestest friends.
So we went there and I quickly doubled my exciting rock collection by finding a rock that was a tree! After this great find we had to cross a small river and it was full of POKEY BITEY FISHES which I DO NOT approve of but they didn’t ask me and bit us anyway so we ran away from them but into a gang of goblins and wargs and things and I summoned one of my wolveriney friends but he wasn’t doing ANYTHING AT ALL to the goblins which is the OPPOSITE of what wolverines usually do so I asked Desna to send something really good next time and she listened!!! My next spell resulted in a really super-huge-and-exciting earth elemental that really whomped the goblins good and the wargs too and it was the biggest, excitinginest elemental Desna has ever sent me so she obviously really wanted me to beat up those goblins because they’re so stinky. And my friend Lia asked for some elementals too and they were all of sizes ranging from normal to really huge too so I think Desna listened to me sooooo hard that she heard Lia too and sent even more presents!!!
I have attached an accurate drawing to show the result of the surprising embiggification of the elemental.
Now we are resting for a bit at the entrance of the barrow we found that hopefully our new best friend is in and hopefully she’s all okay and stuff because it might be very scary inside like the crypts where there was the evil king ghost that I didn’t like at all but these seem smaller so there’s not nearly as much room for giant bone monsters, so it should be okay.
Please give Peaches, Mint, and Vondarian Teingold Hasshoffton The Third my best.