Dear Mr. Newspaper Editor Man,
Please be ever so kind as to post this ad in your local newspaper. I am distraught at our missing friend. Kthanx.
Age: Somewhere between 10 and 86-and-a-half, I think. He never really mentioned. And now to think about it, I might have forgotten to get him a birthday gift at some point! I hope he is not mad at me. I should get a birthday gift for all the rest of my friends right now. Do you think they like rock collections?
Last seen: Road near Freiburg
Last seen with: A dodgy-looking goblinny sort of creature thing, and some other guys, who shot arrows at us and hit us and stuff and it wasn’t pleasant at all, and they were even mean to Lia’s woofy dog, and who can be mean to something so fluffy and cute??
Dear readers: Please help us find our poor lost Nestor, our dear friend who was so villianously stolen away from us while we were doing nothing but minding our own business and walking down a road on the way to a desert to talk to a phoenix who might be able to tell us what’s going on with all the giant monsters that are somehow related to old deathy places and are now rampaging across the countryside. It was just, like, POP and some guys appeared and one of them had a net and netted me but I got out and they threw big stinky cloudy things and they hit our friend Nestor a lot and then they all disappeared! With him!!! And now we are so upset because I think he might have been carrying a part of my rock collection because I put this kinda smooth stone that was this really nice grey color in his pocket the other day. So if you see a half-orc with a gnome-half-fist-sized grey rock in his pocket he is OUR FRIEND NESTOR and you should tell him to come back to us because it is not polite at all to be abducted while carrying other people’s things.